"I am nervous about the parade tomorrow"

"I am nervous about the parade tomorrow." I said this to myself, to my wife, and now I am saying to to you.

The Journey of Life worship band is going to be riding a flatbed trailer tomorrow morning in the St. Cloud Christmas parade. We will be singing the songs that we are going to be singing at our Christmas Eve candlelight service. I know it's going to be great fun, but I am nervous. I've never done anything like this before. Things are kinda coming together at the last minute. So I am nervous.

That is the point of this blog post. Not my nervousness, but my naming my nervousness and sharing it authentically with others (like you!).

There can be a temptation for a leader to hide his or her nervousness, to stand up and charge forward like the future can be predicted and everything is under control. Well, the future cannot be predicted with certainty — only probability — and not everything is even within my sphere of control. So I'm feeling rather vulnerable as we prepare for the parade tomorrow.

Having read and listened to some of  Brené Brown's work recently (her blog is ordinarycourage.com), I thought I'd try on admitting vulnerability and nervousness rather than simply hiding behind a stoic facade, just to see what it feels like. A little earlier today I said to myself, "Man, I sure feel nervous about tomorrow." When I arrived home this evening, my wife asked me how I was feeling and I said, "You know, I'm feeling quite nervous about tomorrow." Not that I'm running away or anything like that. But I decided to be courageous and openly admit what I was really feeling.

You know what? It feels pretty good. It feels right. It feels true. It feels like I'm letting people know me instead of presenting them an airbrushed cardboard cutout of some idea of who I think I ought to be and then worrying about what other people think while I try to maintain the false image I project.

Here's what I experienced:

Admitting my nervousness to myself somehow reduces its power over me. When I openly admitted to myself, "Man, I am nervous about tomorrow," instead of simply trying not to be nervous, somehow my nervousness changed character. It was like it moved from my heart out to my skin. I am still nervous, but the feelings of fight, freeze or flight that accompany anxiety in varying intensities moved away from me. It was definitely good to say intentionally, "Man, I am nervous," instead of saying subtly to myself, "Man, I've got to stop being so nervous."

Admitting my nervousness and feelings of vulnerability creates space to share another feeling I am feeling: confidence. I don't know exactly what tomorrow will hold, but I am confident that as the worship band works together, we will handle whatever happens in the morning with grace and good humor. Our worship band is full of great people! I am also confident that God causes all things to work together for those who love him and are called according to his purposes. So even if we totally crash and burn, that doesn't mean God's purposes won't prevail, which is the point anyway.

Sharing my nervousness with my wife also created the opportunity for her to show love to me, which she has done wonderfully from a glass of red wine, to dinner, to three Oreos in a bowl even as I write this. The courage of honest interaction made a place for our relationship to grow.

Having the courage to own, name and share my nervousness today lessened my own anxiety, allowed me to express confidence in my team and my God, and created a space for love to to be practiced in my marriage. My prideful spirit isn't too excited about being vulnerable by sharing my nervousness, but look at all the good that comes from it!

So, I am feeling nervous, vulnerable, excited and confident about the parade tomorrow. I sure hope the sound system works like it did when I tested it!

Thank you, OnBeing

I want to publicly thank Krista Tippett and OnBeing.org for posting the unedited interviews that Krista conducts with her guests. I have two reasons for this gratitude:

First, I really feel like I get to "know" the guest a little better. I hear the banter, off-the-cuff remarks and extra stories that don't make it into the produced one-hour radio version of the interview. It is a richer experience for me.

Second, they don't edit out the technical difficulties. This week's show with Brene Brown had a major technical issue right in the middle of it. As a pastor who leads a weekly worship service that all-too-often suffers some sort of glitch, it's liberating (and in a twisted way, even encouraging) to get to listen in while pros try to solve unanticipated malfunctions. Of course, the listener never hears the glitches on the produce show. That is part of the point of producing a finished show.

I recommend "OnBeing" to everyone. It's a thought-provoking and kind conversation about the big questions in life.

Emmanuel = Love

Merry Christmas! As we move into Advent and Christmas, we celebrate the unfathomable mystery of Emmanuel, God with us, in Jesus Christ.

CHRISTMAS SHOWS GOD’S LOVE

To those who will listen, creation speaks of God’s power and creativity. Romans 1:20 (ESV), “For his invisible attributes, namely, his eternal power and divine nature, have been clearly perceived, ever since the creation of the world, in the things that have been made. So they are without excuse.” An awe-inspiring starry sky, a powerful waterfall, a living cell performing its metabolic dance —these things tell us to seek their maker. This is exactly what civilizations around the world have done throughout human history.

But who is the maker? What is the maker like? What is our relationship to the maker? That is where Jesus comes into the picture. Jesus, the child whose birth we celebrate on Christmas day, “is the radiance of the glory of God and the exact imprint of his nature…” (Hebrews 1:3)

This is Good News beyond the wildest hopes of humanity as they seek God on their own. People who believe in one God typically imagine God as an authority figure who must be satisfied (or manipulated) or a disinterested creator who built a toy universe and now lets it play out just to see what will happen (if he even cares).

The idea of God being most accurately represented by a baby boy born to a poor girl and being laid in a feed trough because his family was travelling when he was born is nearly unthinkable. To use a well-worn phrase, it rocks our world. What does this mean that creator of our unfathomable universe presents himself to us as a newborn child?

It means Love.

CHRISTMAS SHOWS GOD’S LOVE FOR US

Our creator desires so much to be known to us — to be in relationship with us — that he enters our world in our way, an infant. Surely this is, to use another well-worn phrase, mind-blowing.

Consider what this means for you. For God so loved YOU that he sent his only son… You are the object of radical, unstoppable love from God. You meet God when you meet Jesus. Again, this is Good News beyond hope because when we look at the life of Jesus, we see a man who was truthful and trustable, desired the best for every person he met and, when push came to shove, was willing to die in our place.

In Jesus, from the newborn babe in the manger to the travelling rabbi to the man on the cross dying a criminal’s death, we see that the core of the God who created the universe is Love.

In this broken world, the news that God’s heart is a heart of Love is the best news that we could hope for. Gaze at the baby in the manger and see the creator of the universe wrapped in swaddling clothes. Why on earth would he do that?

The answer is Love for us.

WE LOVE OTHERS BECAUSE GOD FIRST LOVED US

To contemplate the mystery of Emmanuel, God with us in Jesus Christ, without response is unthinkable. How can one possibly consider what God has done to be known by us and to reconcile us to himself and not be changed? Christmas is a celebration of God’s sacrificial love. Our best response to the inconceivable gift of the baby Jesus who grew to be Christ on the cross and the risen Savior is to reflect his character to the rest of the world.

Our best response is Love for others.

Celebrate Christmas by practicing love!

Chasing Turkeys

I was running after a turkey down a long red hallway with lights on both walls every so often. Every time I reached out my hands to grab the turkey, it eluded my grasp. As I ran, the hallway stretched longer and longer. The lights flashed by as I ran ever faster but never fast enough. I wanted, no needed, to catch that turkey. Suddenly the hallway branched into many hallways and a turkey was running away down each branch. I stared wildly from hallway to hallway trying frantically to decide which turkey to chase. My eyes searched for some clue, some reason by which to decide which turkey to chase. But all the hallways were the same. And it seemed every time I looked there were more hallways with more turkeys. Panic grew inside me. The turkeys — I needed to catch them all and I couldn’t even catch one. I collapsed and began to weep. As I knelt sobbing, my tears collected around me into a great puddle. The burden of my impossible duty crushed me utterly, my sense of failure overwhelmed me and my despair was complete.

How long I sat in personal darkness I cannot say. The water of my tears lapped about my legs and I looked up. I was kneeling in the water on the gentle shore of a quiet pond. The sky was clear blue. A delicate breeze lightly ruffled the surface of the water and caused a barely perceptible waving among the trees. I felt a prickly sensation all over my skin, almost an electric vibration. I’m sure it doesn’t sound so in the telling but it was exceedingly pleasant. Quite suddenly I noticed that the hopelessness of the hallway had fallen from me. The pleasant tingling continued to lift me into peace.

“The turkeys,” I muttered. From behind me, a voice at the same time sober and spirited, said, “Ah yes, the turkeys.” 

I stood and turned with a start. A man was standing a few paces from the water’s edge, tranquil in his bearing but filled with energy in his being. He was fully present with me but his eyes were as deep as the universe and seemed to see everywhere at once. I looked and saw dancing joy within him.

I stepped out of the water and walked toward him. My legs were dry as though they had never been wet.

“Sir,” I said, “you know of the turkeys?”

“I do,” said he.

“I needed to catch them and could not,” said I.

“Needed?” said he. There was a tinge of sorrow in his eyes, though the joy was never in danger from the sorrow. Threads of joy ran even through the sorrow.

“I thought I needed to catch the turkeys.”

“Yes, you did think that, didn’t you?”

“Did I not?”

“No, my son.”

“Why were the turkeys running?”

“So you could chase them.”

“And not catch them?”

“The turkeys were never to be caught and kept as though yours. You were created for a joyful turkey chase! Grabbing, clutching, feathers flying, falling, laughing, and jumping up to run again!” His eyes lit up and he started laughing just thinking about the spectacle!

His infectious joy set me laughing, too, as I saw myself through his eyes chasing a wild, wing-flapping bird down the hallway enjoying the chase rather than worrying about the catch.

We laughed in waves for several minutes, trading verbal pictures of crazy turkey-chasing follies.

The laughter finally subsided and I looked again into his eyes. “Then where did I get the idea that I was supposed to catch and keep the turkey for my own?”

“Not from me.”

“Will I ever get the chance to chase the turkey again, the way I was supposed to? To run down the hallway and enjoy the chase for its own sake free of the burden of catching and keeping?” I asked. Though I felt wistful that I might have missed a joyful opportunity, it was impossible to be sad in this man’s presence.

“Can you trust me with your chase? Are able to enjoy the crazy chase and not be caught up in catching the turkey?”

Again, it was the eyes that did the most work on me – inside of me, really. “Yes,” I said, “I am able.”

“Enjoy!” he said.

I felt the warmth of the sun on my cheeks and opened my eyes to a beautiful Thanksgiving morning. The smell of freshly brewing coffee drifted in from the kitchen.  As I lay in bed, I remembered Ecclesiastes that chasing after the stuff of the world is chasing after the wind.  Then I remembered 1 Timothy 6:6, that godliness with contentment is great gain. I resolved anew to let this Thanksgiving be a day on which my heart would be alive with gratitude and instead of chasing after earthly things, I would enjoy the journey that God has given me with the people he has placed in my life.

A Stroll Down the Reformation Hall in the Museum of History

October is a great month. The weather begins to turn. Harvest decorations come out. We just begin to turn to the holiday season with anticipation. October is also a special month in the Lutheran calendar. We celebrate the Reformation. There is a lesson for all of us in the Reformation story, but first let’s take a stroll through the halls of history. We will be in the Middle Ages hall, from roughly AD1400 to AD1600.

A quick glance up the hall reveals it is a great time of intellectual fervor. Big changes are afoot! In 1492, Columbus sails the ocean blue. Leonardo Da Vinci begins painting the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel in 1508. In the 1530’s, Copernicus’s idea that the Earth is not the center of the solar system — let alone the universe! — began to gain currency.

The first picture we encounter is a corrupted Catholic church. There are still good people in the church, but the hierarchy has gone really bad. Clerical offices (which meant a good living at the time) were for sale, as was forgiveness of sin through a certificate, called an indulgence, which one could buy from the church. Many popes in the middle ages were known to have mistresses. The Catholic Church severely punished people who teach against them, including burning heretics at the stake.

The next picture is of the political times. The rulers of what is now Germany would like to get out from under Vatican control, including Vatican taxation. The Turks are beginning their attempted conquest through Eastern Europe. The Vatican has a formidable army that could have been sent to Germany were it not for the Turkish threat.

Finally we see a picture of reformers. The first two are John Wycliffe in England and Jan Hus in Germany, both of whom were condemned by the church. Then there is a particularly stubborn monk named Martin Luther who, after years of trying to live a life worthy of God, discovered in the scriptures that it is God himself who makes sinners worthy through the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ. Martin Luther is surrounded by others whose names you might know: Huldrych Zwingli, John Calvin, King Henry VIII, John Knox, Phillip Melanchthon and many others.

As we look at the detail near the center of the reformers, we find a document dated October 31, 1517. This is the document which Martin Luther nailed to the public bulletin board (the door of the church, in this case) in the university town of Wittenberg. In this document, Martin Luther called for new debate on the sale of indulgences, asserting that not only were they not effective in bringing forgiveness, but they were driving people away from the true forgiveness that God offers repentant sinners in Christ Jesus. This document sparked heated religious controversy, including death warrants, that lasted more than fifty years.

Down the hall we begin to see pictures of new church bodies, including the Lutheran church. The expression on the faces of the reformers in these pictures is bittersweet because though the reformation succeeded, their intent was not to break up the church, but to call the church back to Christ.

The lessons of the Reformation are numerous. Take care with what you come to believe and why — nobody starts out trying to become a heretic. Stick with your convictions. It can be helpful to have powerful friends in high places whose interests dovetail with yours. God is at work. Examine your own life to see if you need a little reformation yourself. Building programs can be big trouble if not kept in perspective. The truth will win out when people are courageous enough to continue to proclaim it in the face of threats (this does not mean that people will not possibly suffer and die in the process). I'm sure there are many more lessons. Perhaps you can share with me what you learn from the Reformation story.

Celebrate Reformation Day in your life by reading the scriptures (you might try the book of Galatians, one of Luther’s favorites) and allowing yourself to be pulled into the tender mercy of God who forgives penitent sinners for Jesus’ sake.

Learning to Speak like a Christian, Not Just Talk Christian-ese

NOTE: This one is a bit long because I felt it important to include the full text of the scriptures I referenced. I hope you find the included Bible verses helpful.

The scriptures tell us that words are serious business. Read what Jesus has to say about the words we speak, “I tell you, on the day of judgment people will give account for every careless word they speak, for by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned.” (Matthew 12:36–37 (ESV)) But it’s not just judgment. Words are serious in how beautiful and valuable they can be. The scriptures tell us that, “A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in a setting of silver.” (Proverbs 25:11 (ESV))

As we examine the scriptures, you might notice that there is no prescription for a Christian to litter their speech with Christian-sounding phrases such as, “Praise the Lord!” The only place I can find where words are prescribed is when Jesus taught his disciples to pray with the words of the Lord’s Prayer. But there are many descriptions of how the people of God speak, both positive and negative.

LET’S START WITH THE POSITIVE:

Christians speak with praise to God. (Psalm 34:1 (ESV) I will bless the LORD at all times; his praise shall continually be in my mouth.)

Christians speak graciously. The roots from which the Greek word for “gracious” is derived include concepts of giving and joy.  (Colossians 4:6 (ESV) Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person.)

Christians speak words of blessing. (Romans 12:14 (ESV) Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse them.)

Christians speak gently. (Proverbs 15:1 (ESV) A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. Proverbs 15:4 (ESV) A gentle tongue is a tree of life, but perverseness in it breaks the spirit.)

Christians speak encouragingly. (1 Thessalonians 4:18 (ESV) Therefore encourage one another with these words.)

Christians speak with patience and kindness. (1 Corinthians 13:4–5 (ESV) Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful;)

AND NOW THE NEGATIVE:

Christians do not speak dishonestly. (Proverbs 6:16–19 (ESV) There are six things that the LORD hates, seven that are an abomination to him: …a lying tongue, …a false witness who breathes out lies, and one who sows discord among brothers.) Note that the phrase, “there are six… seven,” is a way to highlight something. It’s like texting in ALL CAPS WITH MULTIPLE EXCLAMATION POINTS!!!

Christians do not speak deceptively or manipulatively. Christians are straight talkers. (Proverbs 4:24 (ESV) Put away from you crooked speech, and put devious talk far from you.)

Christians don’t need to go on and on when they are speaking. (Proverbs 10:19 (ESV) When words are many, transgression is not lacking, but whoever restrains his lips is prudent.)

Christians do not speak crudely. (Ephesians 5:4 (ESV) Let there be no filthiness nor foolish talk nor crude joking, which are out of place, but instead let there be thanksgiving. Colossians 3:8 (ESV) But now you must put them all away: anger, wrath, malice, slander, and obscene talk from your mouth.)

Christians do not speak boastfully, arrogantly, rudely, irritably, or resentfully. (1 Corinthians 13:4–5 (ESV) Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful;)

It’s not simply the words themselves that are important. Words can be empty. Matthew 6:7 (ESV) “And when you pray, do not heap up empty phrases as the Gentiles do, for they think that they will be heard for their many words.

The intention of the speech is just as important as the words used. The Bible tells us that people can utter the right words without their heart being in the right place. (Matthew 7:21 (ESV) “Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven.) People use words to hide their true motives and manipulate situations. (Psalm 55:20 – 21 (ESV) My companion stretched out his hand against his friends; violated his covenant. His speech was smooth as butter, yet war was in his heart; his words were softer than oil, yet they were drawn swords.)

It turns out that our words are not the real problem. The way we speak is really a diagnostic tool to discern the deeper condition of our hearts, like a thermometer helps to discern the inner temperature of a body.

Jesus teaches us that if our words are problematic, the words are not the real problem. If you have a speech problem, you really have a heart problem because your words flow out of your inner life. (Matthew 15:17–20 (ESV) Do you not see that whatever goes into the mouth passes into the stomach and is expelled? But what comes out of the mouth proceeds from the heart, and this defiles a person. For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false witness, slander. These are what defile a person. But to eat with unwashed hands does not defile anyone.”) (See also Matthew 12:34; Luke 6:45)

Honestly, it’s not really a question of if you have a speech problem, but when you have a speech problem. When you have a speech problem, your heart is not in the right place. So your heart is where the treatment needs to start.

The Bible gives us a very clear course of treatment for spiritual heart problems.

Step one is confession. When we run from or conceal our sin, we are blocking the cleansing and renewal God wants to give us. (1 John 1:8–9 (ESV) If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.)

Step two is repent. The Greek root for “repentance” indicates that we turn our thinking around. We let go of our selfish thoughts and embrace God’s thoughts. Jesus called it losing your life for his sake. (Luke 24:45–47 (ESV) Then [Jesus] opened their minds to understand the Scriptures, and said to them, “Thus it is written, that the Christ should suffer and on the third day rise from the dead, and that repentance and forgiveness of sins should be proclaimed in his name to all nations, beginning from Jerusalem.)

Step three is live in faith. Faith trusts God’s promise that forgiveness is complete in Jesus, that we are God’s children and live in God’s love. (John 3:16 (ESV) For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.) It is this forgiveness and love from God toward us that will empower us to speak like a Christian as a natural consequence of what’s going on inside of us.

For all those who want to really speak like a Christian instead of simply adopt Christian-sounding phrases, here are four steps for speaking like a Christian.

One, consider the person before you speak. Often our speech degenerates when our view of the other person degenerates. As much as you may not like or feel hurt by (or whatever) the person to whom or about whom you are speaking, pause to remember that the other person is dearly loved by God… as dearly as you are. (1 Timothy 2:4 (ESV) [God] desires all people to be saved and to come to the knowledge of the truth.) Reflect on God’s kindness toward you as you consider the other person. (Ephesians 4:32 (ESV) Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.) Picture that person as dearly loved by God in whatever way helps you. Imagine a little glow around them. See a shaft of light piercing the heavens and landing on their head. Picture them at the foot of the cross.

Two, listen first. The scriptures tell us that it is quite foolish to answer before you have all the information. (Proverbs 18:13 (ESV) If one gives an answer before he hears, it is his folly and shame. Proverbs 29:20 (ESV) Do you see a man who is hasty in his words? There is more hope for a fool than for him.) James tells us that Christians are “quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger.” (James 1:19)

Three, consider your words before you speak. This may seem obvious, but the Bible tells us to think about the words we are about to say and then choose, based on scriptural teaching, wisdom, love and the guidance of the Holy Spirit, whether we should actually utter the words we are considering. (Ephesians 4:29 (ESV) Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. Proverbs 15:28 (ESV) The heart of the righteous ponders how to answer, but the mouth of the wicked pours out evil things. Proverbs 12:18 (ESV) There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.) James goes so far as to tell us that controlling our tongue is a core part of new life in Christ. (James 1:26 (ESV) If anyone thinks he is religious and does not bridle his tongue but deceives his heart, this person’s religion is worthless.)

Four, speak with restraint. The scriptures tell us that it is wisdom not to overflow with words. (Proverbs 17:27 (ESV) Whoever restrains his words has knowledge, and he who has a cool spirit is a man of understanding. Proverbs 10:19 (ESV) When words are many, transgression is not lacking, but whoever restrains his lips is prudent.)

The idea of speaking like a Christian does include the words you use, but it has nothing to do with adopting Christian-sounding, pious phrases. It has everything to do with a repentant and grateful heart that rests in God and seeks to spread the love of Christ to all people in all situations.

Do You Have Marigolds in Your Garden?

Do you have marigolds in your garden? After the marigolds come into full bloom, anyone can see them. But between planting and sprouting, the gardener simply has to trust that the seeds are still where they were planted. "Yes, I do have marigolds in my garden," the gardener will say, even though there is no visual evidence and no one would know without being told by the gardener. When the plants first begin to sprout, it's very difficult to discern what type of plant it is. The gardener knows what kind of seeds were planted. The people who have been told by the gardener know what to expect. Perhaps a few very astute and educated observers would be able to see that the tiny shoots are marigolds. As the first few shoots grow, the type of plant becomes more evident. So between planting and sprouting, the gardener and those who have been told simply believe that the seeds are there and will sprout.

This belief affects behavior. If you have planted marigold seeds in your garden, you don't walk on the dirt even if you can't see the flowers at the moment.

The scriptures paint a similar picture of those who have faith — it affects their behavior. James 2:18 - "But someone will say, 'You have faith and I have works.' Show me your faith apart from your works, and I will show you my faith by my works."

We can compare history to a garden. We live in a time of God having planted his promises in the history of the world. Just as a garden begins to put out a few sprouts in the beginning, we see in Jesus Christ the first sprouts of God's ultimate plan to heal the world. The prophets proclaimed that one day the blind will see, the lame will walk, the deaf will hear and the dead will rise. These happened when Jesus walked the earth. We recognize these as the first sprouts of God's plan to restore creation because the gardener, our loving God, has told us in the Bible.

Most of history — most of the present — looks more like a dirt patch than a garden filled with flowers of peace, forgiveness, redemption and joyful life. But that is what people of faith know will be coming because we trust the gardener. And just as planting seeds affects the gardener's behavior (the gardener does not walk on planted flower beds!), so knowledge of the coming redemption of ourselves and the world affects our behavior.

So, metaphorically speaking, do you have marigolds in your garden? Act like it!